The fourth dimension

Back when I was a more philosophical iteration of myself, I'd ponder 'deep' questions about life, love, friendship, and the other existential questions that get talked about a lot but never really get 'solved', in the sense that you can solve 2+2 out to equal 4. I think part of that has to do with being successful, in the sense that life (I have a good job), love (I have a wonderful girlfriend that I can't see myself without), and friendship (I have friends that, even if they are smaller in number, are more than made up for in quality) are all things that, on balance, make a positive contribution to my level of happiness.

But what I ponder more now, is the future. I've made the point numerous times before on this blog, particularly in recent posts, but there's no fixed milestones to look forward to. After working an entire lifetime through years of school and summer jobs and internships, I reached the end of that line a couple years ago. Some of my friends still live it out in graduate school; others still in the nature of particular jobs (investment banking comes to mind). But sooner or later, my friends and I, we'll just be adults, working the grind. Without kids to begin the whole process again, summer has no more meaning to me than winter, and vacation are those few days when I want to make it vacation. And in the end, it will be the journey that matters...because the destination for all of us is the same, no matter what happens.

But how important is it to look at the past? Nostalgia sets in when I think that it was 2 years since I graduated from college, 6 years ago when I set foot in Hill College House, 10 years since I started high school, 16 years since I moved to New York, 20 years since I moved to America from Japan...the numbers only grow bigger with each passing day. And the time goes quickly...it's already the middle of June, and I can remember when it was January 1st. In the end, the memories are important, but it means nothing at all if you can't take the good from the past and apply it going forward. I never want to be in the position where I look back and say it was 5, 10, or however many years since the best vacation or best dinner or best time with friends. When that happens, the past becomes that much more vibrant, and the present tastes stale, smells musty, and looks like a pale, washed-out canvass.

Remember the good times from the past, but always be making new memories. The first time I made a proper meal with my girlfriend - a chicken alfredo sauce with pasta - is just as vivid and endearing a memory as the most recent dish (steamed clams with garlic bread). Carpe diem, always.