Semi-deep thoughts

I was reading a friend's blog, and a good portion of their latest entry was devoted to musing about relationships and posed the question if one can be yourself while in a relationship. Simply put, the answer is: of course. If you can't be yourself when you are with someone, then there's something inherently wrong about that interaction that needs to be fixed.

My friend asks another question, which pertains to whether a relationship can be 'perfect'. The issue is that 'perfect' in the context of personal relationships is always a relative matter. If one abides by the literal definition of perfect, you're likely to be disappointed. Why? Because one's preconceived notion of what is 'perfect' is heavily influenced by one's biases, which are inherently imperfections in your own character.

That being said, I think the crux of the matter lies with acceptance and understanding. If you can accept the other person for who they are - and at the same time understand what makes them tick and why they act in a particular manner - then you'll end up being a lot happier than you might otherwise be. My girlfriend and I don't see eye to eye on a couple of things, but I think the important part is that I accept her viewpoint and can see why she views something the way she does. Therefore, we don't end up dwelling on our differences, and we still love each other for who we are. In the end, being 'perfect', I think, correlates highly in the minds of most people with having common interests and beliefs. If you only dated people who were exactly like you...well, you wouldn't have much of a love life. And if you did manage to find someone just like yourself, it would probably drive you nuts like it did to Jerry Seinfeld's character in the 7th season's finale of his eponymous show.

We're all different...that's how it goes. Ultimately, your happiness is the barometer by which you should measure how well a relationship is working.